August 2000: Debi Durst, Michael Bossier, and I had just finished a week’s residence at the New Orleans Comedy Festival and were gratefully returning to our homes in the Sunset District. New Orleans. In August. Neither the temps nor the humidity dropped under 90 for our entire stay. The over/under for “shirt soaked with perspiration” was one half of one block, and as the venues and our hotel were mostly clustered in the French Quarter, we walked everywhere (even to the bus for the distant venues). You know when people say, “but it’s a dry heat?” They are not talking about the Mississippi Delta. So when our flight home approached SFO and we could see the blessed fog clinging to San Bruno Mountain, actual tears were shed, and all was right with the world. We had our taste of true sticky summer and wanted our phony Summer in The City back.
After unpacking, we met up in Andronico’s parking lot and laughed and twirled in the swirling coolness. Nature’s air conditioning may get in the way of fireworks, but for the most part, it is our cool, grey blanket of serenity. You want warmth in July? Simply drive 20 miles in any direction except West. The National Weather Service has determined that the phenomenon of congealed mist or aerosol of water vapor or dew point saturation, or whatever you call the hovering moistness, shall be known as a “cloud” over 500 feet above sea level and “fog” below 500 feet.
When our flight home approached SFO and we could see the blessed fog clinging to San Bruno Mountain, actual tears were shed, and all was right with the world.
So what we San Franciscans regularly do is walk through low-hanging clouds. We are the Cloud Walkers. And much better off for it. Lando Calrissian has nothing on us. Texas and Arizona can keep their 130-degree summers. Suck sweat MAGAts. Enjoy melting in the fires of your hate. We’re happy right where we are, frolicking amongst the clouds.
Just what one would expect from a woke snowflake, right?
Fine with me.
Will Durst is a local comedian whose newest one-man show, “He Who Shall Not Be Named” will open soon in San Francisco.
