We San Franciscans are very proud of our city. The City. As well as we should be. When we go overseas, we can stifle any anti-American bias with a simple “We’re from San Francisco.”
People everywhere love The City. Or they love the idea of San Francisco.
The food. The views. The climate. The beauty. The history. The tolerance. The tech bros designing the future.
All are pretty darn good, and we do tend to go on about them. Why wouldn’t you?
Some say we are guilty of overhyping the good stuff and washing right over the low lights.
Yeah. Well. Maybe.
But in our defense, allow me to point out we are the center of the universe. Just ask us.
Want proof? Where is HQ for Starfleet? Here. Picasso said the three best cities in the world for light were Paris, Edinburgh, and San Francisco. Tennessee Williams said there are only three true cities in America: “New York, New Orleans, and San Francisco. The rest is Cleveland.”
We pretty much have everything a city could want, except for parking, and the one thing we desire most.
Which is: A view of us.
We wake up every morning.
What do we get to see?
Oakland.
And what does Oakland get to see?
Us. For free!
That’s not fair. Like Brad Pitt waking up in the morning and seeing John Goodman looking back when he shaves.
That’s why I propose the Bay Mirror Project.
We erect a 25-foot mylar mirror from Oyster Point all the way over to the Golden Gate Bridge.
And voila!
Every morning: “There you are … hello beautiful! That’s why I live here.”
And because our side of the mirror will be concave, everyone will appear thinner.
That, my friends, is what is known as a win/win.
Will Durst is a Bay Area-based political comedian whose new one man show “He Who Shall Not Be Named” will soon open at a theater near you.
