Here’s another reason San Francisco is more confusing than trying to play Tetris in the back seat of a Porsche driving around an area of the city with many hills and potholes, which is every part of the city.
Lombard Street — the Crookedest Street in the World isn’t even the crookedest street in San Francisco. The deal is: In 1922, homeowners on the 1000 block of Lombard, which has a 27 percent grade were losing a lot of vehicles and horses due to the steep; but dismissed the newly fashionable remedy of a cable car system, opting for a series of eight switchbacks to foil nature’s fiercest warrior: gravity, making it less dangerous and more navigable. The hydrangeas were some mad botanist’s colorful addition, and in the ’60s postcards popularized it, and a tourist destination was born.
Vermont Street between 20th and 22nd Street is actually steeper with only seven switchbacks. Nor are Lombard Street or Vermont Street the steepest. That’s Bradford Street above Tompkins Avenue in Bernal Heights with a 41 percent grade, a tilt to rival some roller coasters.
The real question is why our forefathers saw a topography of more than 50 hills and thought that would be a good place to plop a city. They had gone as far West as they could, and you got to admit — nice bay. Neighborhood protests to close Lombard Street, like those being floated today, are nothing new. Petitions were circulated to close the tourist-infested street in 1970, 1977, and 1987. So be one of the 250 cars that traverse it daily before a toll is implemented. And you know it’s coming.
Next, we’ll investigate how The Great Highway got demoted because some hipsters in Bernal Heights needed a flat place to ride their $5,000 bicycles.
Embrace Karl and stay cool. Literally. Figuratively, not a problem.