When it comes to the movie business, the road to hell can be paved with good actors. A cast flush with award-worthy, box-office-friendly, internationally renowned performers would seem to assure a measure of success, especially if the concept is promising, the direction is competent, and the budget allows for an impressive array of visuals. Yet the end result won’t necessarily benefit from or reflect all those assets. The problem could be wonky on-screen chemistry. But it’s more likely the script — as is the case with Borderlands and, to a lesser extent, The Instigators.
‘Borderlands’
It’s easy to understand why Borderlands was made and how it was financed. Insofar as it’s based on or, more accurately, inspired by a massively popular, shoot-’em-up video-game franchise with designs on becoming a movie franchise, the economic outlook behind producing and releasing it must have appeared rosy. After all, video games reportedly became even more profitable than any other facet of the entertainment industry some time back. That goes a long way to explaining the barrage of narrative film and television projects spun out of video games — certain of them done with skill and depth, such as the HBO series The Last of Us and some done with craven carelessness, such as Borderlands.
By most standards, Borderlands — an ostensible science-fiction adventure peppered with what were intended as comedic situations and dialogue — isn’t the worst movie ever made, but for much of its 102-minute running time, it’s a clumsy pastiche of bits and pieces from many better feature films. The plot sounds like an A.I. afterthought. A planet-hopping bounty hunter named Lilith is recruited against her will by a vicious corporate overlord to find his kidnapped adolescent daughter who is somehow connected to a lost vault of power and knowledge that all manner of treasure hunters want to find and exploit. The vault happens to be hidden on Lilith’s danger-fraught home world, which is populated by lowlifes and random mutant creatures and is the last place our antiheroine wants to be. Cue the purloined settings and situations from Mad Max, Star Wars, Dune, Guardians of the Galaxy, etc.
In no way does this crass production honor its most decorated stars — specifically, Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine, The Aviator) as cynical, hard-nosed Lilith, her fellow Oscar-winner Jamie Lee Curtis (Everything Everywhere All at Once) as Lilith’s tech-savvy ally Tannis, and versatile, generally loveable Jack Black (Kung Fu Panda), who provides the voice of a super-annoying droid companion named Claptrap. Borderlands could very well be the biggest stinker on their respective résumés. More in keeping with the commercial imperative driving Borderlands, there’s the inclusion of the frantically yammering comedian Kevin Hart as fist-fighting sharpshooting mercenary Roland. Seriously, did anyone have “Kevin Hart co-stars with Cate Blanchett in a puerile video game-inspired action movie” on their Hollywood bingo card?
All the top-drawer acting talent in the world would struggle to save a second-rate script — and won’t save a bad one
In an odd decision when you consider his background in low-budget horror, Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever, The Green Inferno) is director and coauthor of this noisy, overblown, repetitive, unfunny mish-mash. Although Roth’s direction is scattershot, the script is the biggest fail here. The creative larceny afoot in Borderlands is so lazy and blatant that Blanchett’s Lilith actually says, verbatim, the classic Danny Glover line from Lethal Weapon, “I’m gettin’ too old for this s—t.” The arid, junk-strewn planet where most of the action takes place in Borderlands isn’t called Tatooine (Star Wars) or Arrakis (Dune). It’s called Pandora — same as the Na’vi sanctuary Pandora in the Avatar movies. The shoddy, bright-red fright wig Blanchett wears as Lilith makes her look as if she could be the mother of the Leeloo character in The Fifth Element. And so on.
There are a couple other familiar cast members in this misfire, beyond Blanchett, Curtis, Black, and Hart: Ariana Greenblatt (Barbie, Ahsoka) plays Tiny Tina, the kidnapped kid; Gina Gershon is Moxxi, a sort of Mae West-styled saloon keeper; Edgar Ramírez is the oily big bad, a villainous CEO named Atlas; and stand-up comic Bobby Lee is Roland’s mercenary buddy Larry. Sure, they hit their marks — to little avail. Lee’s scenes with Hart seemed like a bad night backstage at the Comedy Store. When Blanchett is on screen, you can’t help but pay attention. Of course, that would be the case if Blanchett was reciting nursery rhymes in pig Latin. Borderlands (Bored-erlands?) is a lamentable waste of talent, its main virtue being that it should benefit the actors’ bank accounts, freeing them to do better work elsewhere.
Borderlands is currently playing in select Bay Area theaters and will be available for streaming Aug. 30.
‘The Instigators’
There was so much initial promise to The Instigators. It’s a heist movie roiling with criminal activity and infused with a comedic element. Furthermore, it stars a guy named Damon and a guy named Affleck (Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, to be exact), usually an indicator of quality. And it’s directed by Doug Liman who has overseen more than a few good movies, including The Bourne Identity, Swingers, Edge of Tomorrow and this year’s butt-kicking remake of Road House. Damon and Affleck play two very different working-class guys. Damon is decent ex-military man Rory, and Affleck is feckless ex-con Cobby. Despite different reasons for being involved in the shady scheme, both are enlisted by a mid-level mobster to help rob the election night party of a corrupt, deeply entrenched Boston mayor. Sounds like fun.
Anyone expecting Ben Affleck (who co-produced The Instigators) to be here as costar alongside his longtime friend and collaborator Damon need not worry. Ben’s brother, Casey, is strong in the banter department opposite Damon. As supporting casts go, it would be difficult to find one that’s more impressive than Hong Chau as Rory’s V.A. psychotherapist, Alfred Molina as a baker who’s also a money launderer for the mob, Michael Stuhlbarg as the baker’s gangster boss, Ron Perlman as the amoral mayor, Ving Rhames as a cop in the mayor’s pocket, and Toby Jones as the mayor’s counsel. Too bad they’re let down by a pedestrian script from screenwriter Chuck MacLean. The Instigators needed a nail-biting caper. The excitement level was minimal. The Instigators needed zingers. The comedy was flat. It’s certainly not terrible, with the back-biting Damon-Affleck back-and-forth being the most enjoyable aspect of the movie. But on the whole, it’s kind of perfunctory and short on emotional impact, laughs, and thrills when it needed to be tense, rollicking, and surprising.
The Instigators is available for streaming on Apple TV+.